Sunday, August 3, 2008

030: Loveland's

What should Clyde do?
-Contact the Forgiver telepathically: 9 votes
-Leave the Forgiver a note: 0 votes
-Leave a note for someone else to do it: 0 votes
Clyde pondered his predicament. It would seem that the lazier he wanted to be, the more effort he had to exert. However, the very essence of being lazy was exerting as little effort as possible. He decided to just contact the Forgiver telepathically, and then go off for a smoke. Despite being an embryo, he was well within the legal age to do such a thing. He concentrated, and soon established a rapport with the Forgiver:

"Hey, Forgiver! We got a mission for you. You need to find that Captain Depresso jerk-ass and head to some asylum outside Cleveland. Got it?"

"Indeed I do, old chum," thought the Forgiver, who looked a bit like Zorro without the hat and mustache, and also white as an egg, "The Forgiver will find him, and together we'll do that which we need to do. Which is what, exactly?"

"You need to find this dick-wad named Player One and bust him out. Apparently, the asylum they put him and his pal in isn't on the level. That's what they tell me, at least."

"I'm on it. I'll find Captain Depresso, or my name isn't the Forgiver!"

"Thanks," said Clyde, closing the rapport and heading off for a cigar.

Meanwhile, the Forgiver was standing outside an especially strange bar, coincidentally in the downtown Cleveland area. He turned to a young man who was staring down at the ground. Like the Forgiver, he wore nothing but black, but he wore no mask. He had no loved ones to protect, and this was why he called himself Captain Depresso.

The Forgiver turned to Captain Depresso, and said, "Clyde said I should find you. You've been found, old chum. Now how's about you and I go in and find this murderer?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," said Captain Depresso, following the Forgiver into the bar.

All the occupants of the bar stopped and stared at the newly-arrived superheroes, and the superheroes did the same.

Captain Depresso looked up and then looked at the Forgiver.

"Is that Bigfoot?" he said, pointing to a large humanoid in a suit. Or, at least with pieces of suit fabric stapled to him.

"I believe that's the Armani Yeti," said the Forgiver, stepping back towards the door, "He's part of the Infarious Eleven."


"The leader is an idiot. In any case, if he's here, then I've no doubt our troublemaker is somewhere around here."

"I thought we weren't supposed to do stuff like this. We're superheroes, and they're supernatural creatures. We could get in trouble."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. Bigfoot and whatnot, they're classified as crypto-zoological creatures. So we can do what we please with them, they're fair game."

"Why are they here, though?"

"This is Loveland's," said a new voice, belonging to a relatively average looking man stepping out of a backroom, "Where crypto-zoological creatures and various other supernatural beings can come to get away from people like you. Who are you two, anyway? White Zorro and Super Emo Kid?"

"I'm the Forgiver, and this is my associate, Captain Depresso. Who might you be, as if I needed to ask, Player Two?"

"Yeah, I'm Player Two. Is this about that guy? Or should I say, that vampire piece of crap? I'm supposed to kill them! It's my job!"

"Tell that to my dead parents!" shouted the Forgiver as he lunged at Player Two.

Player Two tried to drop and roll, but was too late, and soon the Forgiver had him pinned to the ground, with a baton pressed against his throat. The Forgiver leaned in so close that his nose was nearly touching Player Two's, and said, raspily, "Are you sorry?"

"I don't want trouble!" croaked a voice from behind the bar, "Ribbit ribbit!"

"There'll be no trouble if this sinner repents!" said the Forgiver, turning to the speaker, the bipedal Loveland Frog.

"Yeah, fine! I'm sorry!" said Player Two.

"Do you really mean it?" said the Forgiver.


The Forgiver stood up, and held out his hand to Player Two, who cautiously accepted it.

"Is that it?" said Player Two, brushing himself off.

"Unless my associate has anything to say about it."

"Meh," said Captain Depresso. Neither he nor anyone but the Loveland Frog had really cared about the brief skirmish between the Forgiver and Player Two.

With a flourish, the Forgiver turned and said, "Well then. I guess we're off, then."

"You never said where we're going," said Captain Depresso, kicking the floor arrythmically.

"We have to find some guy named Player One. He's stuck in an asylum outside Cleveland," said the Forgiver.

"Player One?" said Player Two and Captain Depresso simultaneously.

"Indeed, old chums."

"I like him. He's not too bad," said Captain Depresso.

"I haven't heard from him in years," said Player Two, "I want to come with you guys if you go get him."

"That's up to Captain Depresso," said the Forgiver.

"Uh..." said Captain Depresso, avidly aware that he had quickly been put on the spot.
Should Captain Depresso let Player Two come?

No comments: