Sunday, August 24, 2008

033: The World That's Coming

How should they hit them?
Hard and fast: 4 votes
Slow and stealthy: 1 vote
"You're talking to several men of action, chum. What do you think?" said the Forgiver.

"We're all dressed in black," Player One replied, "Except for Shrugs and E. Are you sure you want to go in? You're wearing a flowing white robe. The last time I saw someone try to do that they got torn up pretty badly."

"What happened to them?" said E.

"They fell down some stairs."

"I think I'll be all right."

"All right, then. Let's hit them hard and fast!" said Player One, stepping towards the glowing portal. He stopped and turned on his heel. "Superheroes and E, are you the not killing kind?"

"My parents were killed by a fiendish man in an alley," said the Forgiver, "Since that day, I swore never to take a life. Even an unlife."

Captain Depresso shrugged and opened his mouth to say something, but then just nodded and said, "Not intentionally, anyway."

"I'd rather not," said E.

Player One sighed. Here he was, going into a portal filled with a bunch of vampires, and he was stuck with three people who'd be too busy trying not to get killed to be of any use. He was thankful he had Shrugs with him, who he knew to have no qualms when sending a vampire to its eternal rest. Player Two's methods, however, were a closed book to him. While they had known each other for years, the last time they actually spoke to each other was before either one became part of the Paci Custodis. Still, he was a Paci Custodis. That had to mean something, and therefore, he had a plan of sorts.

"Shrugs and Captain Depresso, you two try to get as many of the minor vampires out of the way as possible. Player Two and E, try to find this Charleston guy and get him out of here, taking care of whoever gives you trouble. Forgiver, you and I will go after the False Prophet," said Player One, to several nods. Player Two, however, stood with arms folded.

"Why do you get to go after the Prophet?" said Player Two.

"I've never seen you fight vampires before. If were playing some video game with Players Three and Four and these guys, I'd put you on my team in a second. Right now, though, we're trying to rescue some guy and take out some vampires and I have no idea how well you can do that I really don't want anyone to die tonight. Well, none of us. Or that Charleston guy. As many vampires as we can get, though."

"Fair enough," said Player Two, standing next to E.

"All right, then!" said Player One, "Weapons ready, everyone! Well, Paci Custodis! I'd suggest you civilian-type people pick up something once we get in there."

Player One pulled his modified video game gun out, and made sure he had some spare cartridges and a knife. Shrugs had decided to use a crossbow with headless bolts, but he also had a rifle, just in case. Player Two had what appeared to be some sort of cannon, which he could apparently club people to death with, should the need arise.

Two by two, they entered the portal. It was empty and dark inside for a moment, and then it erupted with a hellish red light. A demonic purple entity sat upon a disc, and smiled fiendishly at the sextet.

"I am the demonic entity Purga," he said, flapping his immense wings and gesturing towards the sextet, "What do you seek here?"

Player One stepped forward, "There were supposed to vampires in here. All I'm seeing is you."

"I know of the False Prophet well. He has served me for centuries, in fact, and so at times I feel the need to intervene. I'll not let him fall to the likes of you. How foolish to think that you could just barge in and destroy a being who has been alive longer than the lot of you. The things he has done and seen and your only thought is to destroy him. What purpose would that serve?"

"One more dead vampire, and maybe all of the people he bit would be human again."

"Why would anyone want to be human?" Player One began to speak, but was hushed by Purga, "None of you are worthy to speak on behalf of humanity. All of you have either been tainted by divinity, or aspire to be as one who has. Since none of you have wronged me, I shall let you live."

Player One sighed. Every bone in his body was telling him to try and kill this demon, but his mind was asking how they would get out of this red room if the demon died if that happened. Eventually, the mind won out, and had an addendum: "Could you let us have Charleston Charge, though? We sort of came here to rescue him."

The demon looked shocked. "Charge?"

"Charleston Charge."

"Perhaps I have been too hasty in my defense of my False Prophet."

"From what I hear, it was his ex-girlfriend what done it."

The demon waved his clawed hand at them dismissively, "You can kill her, then. A few others who have been having ideas above their station, as well." The sextet vanished from the realm of Purga, and the demon began to ponder. "It appears that we shall have a problem soon enough. A Charge. No matter, we can easily take him from his protectors. Some assembly required, of course!" He threw back his head and began to laugh maniacally, well-aware that there was no one around to hear his joke, and there was little chance they would have gotten it anyway.

The sextet, meanwhile, reappeared outside the stone doors which led now to a simple hallway. The darkness took the shape of several young ladies, one of whom was leading Charleston Charge on a leash.

"I hate girl vampires," said Player One, "It almost feels wrong to take them out."

The lead vampire held out her hand, motioning for her comrades to stop. "You speak to the Mouth of the Prophet. What do you want?"

"Him!" said E, pointing at Charleston.

"He's such a docile thing, though, and I doubt any of you could reverse what I've done to him. The only way you could do that is by slaying the False Prophet, and you can't do that. I doubt you could even destroy me. Why-" Before she could say another word, a bullet tore through her head.

The sextet froze as the body slumped to the ground. From behind them, they heard voices.

"Women should keep their mouth shut," said a priest who was standing on the stairs.

"Graves?" choked out Player One, "What are you doing here?"

"Not now, gamer fag!" said Graves as another man in a suit came running down the stairs with a mallet, bringing it up as one of the vampires leapt at the inattentive Player One.

"PIE FLOWERS!" he shouted with obvious glee as he broke the vampire's jaw.

Player One shrugged and began shooting the remaining vampires, along with Player Two and Shrugs. An overweight man in a dress was attempting to tear off Charleston's head, however, and was quickly stopped by Shrugs.

"We need to keep that guy safe, Clarence!" shouted Player One as he pulled out his knife and stabbing one of the vampires, "He's Charleston Charge but I think he got turned into a ghoul!"

"Men can't get changed into ghouls, that's witchcraft," said Clarence as Charleston began to convulse.

"Ghoul, not girl, you stupid fu-" began Graves as more vampires came from the tunnel, drawn by the sounds of battle.

"Language!" said another voice.

The Forgiver, who had backed into a corner with Captain Depresso and E, looked up in surprise. "Go-To Guy?"

"In the flesh, Forgiver. Now, what... what's going on here?" said Go-To Guy, looking at the carnage ensuing.


"We're not supposed to fight vampires," said Go-To Guy, quietly. He then flew upwards and put his weight against the floor of the house, and suddenly the entire house was pulled off its foundation, exposing the remaining vampires to the sunlight and causing them to retreat, leaving Charleston behind. E ran over to him and helped him up as Players One and Two attempted to stop the businessman with a mallet from chasing the vampires, and a cacophony ensued:

"What happened?" said Charleston.

"You were changed into a ghoul, but that gentleman in the dress changed you back," said E.

E and Charleston looked at Clarence, who smiled toothlessly at them.

"Whatever. I think I'm over Lauren now, Edolie," said Charleston.

E, or Edolie, smiled at him, "I'm glad."

"Why is everyone here?" said Player One.

"We got a message from a Player Two," said Go-To Guy.

"So did we," said the man in the business-suit, trying to hide the mallet and looking slightly embarrassed.

"When did you send a message?" asked the Forgiver.

"When we were in that asylum. I sent out some emails and stuff," said Player Two.

"I thought you were tying up the Red Scare."

"The who what now?"

"The scientist with a claw for an arm."

"You know, I forgot all about him."

"Hold on, the guy who tried to build a wall around the United States?" said Charleston, "I thought those were all just stories."

"Everything you've heard is real, Charleston," said Edolie.

"I've heard a lot! Also, how are you alive?"

"I dived into the water, and emerged changed."

"Hold on!" shouted Player One, and everyone was silent. "So what I'm hearing is that Player Two sent out a message to every superhero group and Paci Custodis in the area, in a room with a seriously bad guy in it. Did you at least turn off the computer?"

"Slipped my mind," said Player Two.

"So some super-villain knows where all these superheroes are probably headed, a super-villain with an asylum filled with hideous mutant freaks, psychopaths, and other super-villains."

"At least I kept my mouth shut with the demon."

"Oh crap."

Charleston sagged in Edolie's arms.

"Just be glad he put down the wrong address," said the business-man, "We stopped at that nursing home because that's what the message said."

At this point, everyone in the basement paused, and shared glances with each other, and eventually setting their gazes on Player Two.

"Should we even leave this basement?" said the business-man, staring at the stairs which lead to nowhere.

Minutes passed, and eventually they went up the stairs, one by one, into the sunlight, into the world that was coming, and they all prayed they weren't too late, little realizing that they had always been too late.

Charleston only wondered, as he went up the stairs, whether he should contact TYRIS or not. It probably didn't matter, but he still wondered.
Should Charleston contact TYRIS?

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