Wednesday, August 27, 2008

034: The Heroes Gather (Part One)

Should Charleston contact TYRIS?
Yes: 4 votes
No: 1 vote

Charleston figured he might as well contact TYRIS, and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He was somewhat amazed that it had not been taken from him, but oh well. He dialed TYRIS, got a message about how all active agents had been dispatched, and was told to leave a message in return. He had a guess about where they had all been dispatched to. He put the phone back in his pocket and squinted as he and his group exited the basement and into the light of the sun.

Ah, wait.

That wasn't the sun.

It was two men grappling in the air, each emitting brightness so strong it nearly blinded Charleston. As they dimmed, Charleston noticed they were only the first to arrive, and they were a bit down the street.

"The nursing home," said Player One, "This is going to be pretty bad, isn't it?"

"It already is," said Go-To Guy, "It's going to get far worse before the day is done, I fear. Charleston and Edolie, you two had better find somewhere safe. Preferably somewhere miles away, if you can manage it. Hold on, where did she go?"

Edolie had, in fact, vanished, leaving Charleston alone. "I'll be fine," he said, "I'll just try not to get involved."

Go-To Guy sighed and turned to Shrugs, Player One, Player Two, Graves, Clarence, the Forgiver, Captain Depresso, and the man in the business suit. "We should get over there. No doubt we'll be needed." They left.

"You look like you need to take a seat, friend," said a voice from behind Charleston.

He turned to find Land Captain, sitting on top of Ishmael with a thermos filled with hot cocoa.

"We should probably hang back for a while. I doubt we'd do much good."

Charleston nodded, and climbed onto Ishmael's hood. Up ahead, fights were breaking out.


Go-To Guy carried the Forgiver to the rest of the super-heroes. They landed among their allies, the Astounding Superhero Syndicate, who was hastily making plans of attack.

"Where's Mark King?" said Go-To Guy to Clyde the Embryonic Man, who was, as mentioned, a floating telepathic telekinetic embryo.

"I dunno," said Clyde.

"Is everyone else here?"

"El Scientist Magnifico went to establish some sort of medical tent, along with Steve."

"The one who wants to be a doctor?"

"Yep. That jerk-ass."

"As long as they're out of the way. Who else is here from our team?"

"Dismembro, Photogra-She, Two Places at Once Man, Serial Hang-Man, and I have word that our European branch is one their way with Sitting Tricky Pillow Man, Captain Monocle, the Englishman, Scottish Box Man, Britain Sandy, Llewellyn, and the Scooter. They're bringing some guy named Kinetosphere, too. Sounds like trouble to me."

"We need all the man-power we can get, Clyde. Hopefully it'll be enough. Are any others here?"

"Well, there's the New Society of Paragon People..."


During World War Two, a team of super-beings arose to combat the Axis of Evil and various other ne'er-do-wells. These beings were called the Paragon People, and in the opening months of the 1950s, they vanished along with their mobile base. Recently, a new team dedicated to the ideals of the original Paragon People arose: the New Society of Paragon People.

"I don't want to do this," said a dark-haired young man in a black and blue jumpsuit with a symbol on its chest of a drop of water with an X through it.

"We have to combat the forces of evil!" said another young man with sandy blonde hair and a bright yellow jumpsuit. He was glowing.

"I'm fine with combating the forces of evil, I just don't think we should do a roll call."

"It'll be fun! I'll go first!" He struck a pose and shouted, "Solar! Infused with the power of the sun's atomic heart!"

The dark-haired young man half-heartedly struck another pose, and said, "Dry-Man. Who can't get wet."

"This is pretty stupid," said a young woman dressed like an aviator, "Vehigirl, who drives you guys places."

"Breakneck!" said another young woman in a skin-tight purple and blue suit and a helmet, "Generic speedster!"

"Bag-Man!" said a young man in a blue jumpsuit and a matching domino mask, "I can pull things out of a bag! Seriously, Solar, you're the only one of us who actually thought this through. We have better things to do than shout out our names."

"Right you are, Bag-Man!" said Solar, "Off to fight evil!"


"..and the Neo-Bassets..."


The Neo-Bassets were another legacy team, though their precursors were simply adventurers from the 1920s. They had vanished some time ago, but their legacy lived on. This is why it was a legacy team, really.

A young man dressed in a yellow and green jumpsuit was carrying a dog in his arms and a luchadore on his back. A man in armor flew next to him with what appeared to be a human spring. They landed.

"There you go, Benji," he said, letting the dog down. He let the luchadore off his back, and said, "You too, Santos."

"Gracias, Senior Fadeaway," said Santos.

The man in the power armor landed, and struck a pose, "Worry not, fair city! Double O is here, noble protector! I shall single-handedly save the day!" The human spring next to him coughed. Double O did not lose a beat, and added, "With my sidekick Slink-E." Another cough. "And the rest of these hangers-on. Onward to justice! I am Double O, the best and only hero this world needs!"


"...and some random solo heroes."


Captain Depresso sat on a rock, waiting for the fighting to start so he could get away from it. Before he could do so, several other people walked up to him.

"Captain Depresso?" said an athletically-built young man in a skin-tight suit with meerkat markings on it. He had brown hair, combed into a widow's peak, and a black domino mask. A meerkat sat on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" said Captain Depresso.

"I'm the Meerkat. This is my partner Pilate"

"I'm the Moonman Marauder," said another man wearing those moon-shoes. He wore a gray leotard with a purple cape and cowl. He had a silver belt.

"I'm Hydro Knight," said a man in a suit of armor with gray skin, with a cat dressed like a lifeguard, "This is my sidekick Lifeguard Kitty."

A man dressed in black, much like the Forgiver but with a cowl, said, "I'm the Nightflier."

"So?" said Captain Depresso.

"No one knows more about superheroes and super-villains than you," said the Meerkat, "We were wondering if you'd like to team-up with us."

Captain Depresso hopped off his rock, and shrugged, "Why not? We're all going to die anyway."


"That's all for the super-guys?" said Go-To Guy.

"It should be," said Clyde, "I can't keep track of everyone, though."

"Well then, let's get out there and see if we can't keep the property damage to a minimum."

Behind them, the nursing home exploded. The voice of Double O said, "It was Bad Higgins!"


Player One, Shrugs, Graves, Clarence, and the man in the business-suit were with several other individuals.

"Anderson," said Player One, "I think we should get out of here. We're all screwed. There's going to be Spanish Ninja Robots all over the place."

The man in the business-suit shrugged and said, "I think we'll be okay. I mean, look, we brought Ben..."

A thin young man with a boxing glove wrapped in oily rags raised his fist.


If the first young man was thin, this one was positively emaciated with thick glasses. He seemed to have an unhealthy tint to his skin.


An athletically-built woman wearing a red beret scowled.


A goat bleated. Anderson was growing increasingly uneasy.


A monkey shook his cage.


This man looked normal, except he was standing perfectly still and he looked slightly frightened, as if he could not see.

"...and Jimmy Swift!"

"I'm a lawyer! I don't even know what I'm doing here!" said a thin, arrogant-looking man.

Player One turned to Anderson, and said, "Why the heck did you bring all these guys?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."


Player Two was wandering around the battlefield, and found a chubby young man in a helmet wandering around as well.

"Player Three?"

"Player Two?"

"All right! If Player Four was here, we could have a bona-fide reunion! Player One is over there somewhere. Wait, are you one of us?"

"You mean a Paci Custodis?"


"Sure am."

"Hot damn!"

"Let's team-up! You and I always did make a great team."

"I'm not gay, Two."

"Never said you were, Three."

"All right then."


A young woman dressed in dark clothing drove up on a motorcycle with a sidecar. A bubbly blonde girl was in the sidecar, babbling incoherently.

"What are we doing here, Player Four?" said the blonde girl.

"There's going to be trouble," said other woman, "We need to be here to help make sure things don't get out of hand."

"You think Player One is going to be here, don't you?"

"So what if I do?"

"Nothing. Just nothing."

In the distance, the nursing home exploded.

"It's already starting," said Player Four.
To be continued in 035: The Villains Assemble

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