Tuesday, May 6, 2008

006: Land Captain Sets a Course

Land Captain sat in his car. He had gone to the R&D department, gotten the special skin-tight armor, and marched out to his car to the cheers of the TYRIS employees. Nearly all of them knew of the occupational hazards of working for TYRIS, yet they had a special place in their heart for those who willingly harmed their fellow employees. If a wendigo or something attacked you, well, that was to be expected. It was a wendigo, after all, you can't reason with them. However, when a person willingly did harm to an employee, then it was on. And so it was with a proud heart that Land Captain marched out the doors of TYRIS. He opened the door of his car, and he waved towards the building to the sound of one last cheer. Then he sat down, and put his head down on the steering wheel.

"I've really done it this time, Ishmael," said Land Captain, "Ol' Land Captain has really bitten off more than he could chew."

"You've battled aliens and super-villains across several universes. You have saved those universes several times. You should have no trouble with some genetically engineered fish monsters," replied Ishmael.

"No, it's not that. It's different this time," said Land Captain, picking his head up a little bit and then slamming it back down, "Those were just friendly battles. Nothing serious."

Both car and man were silent, and then Ishmael said, "What are you talking about?"

"You know. I've never had an archenemy."

"What about the aliens? You fought them consistently for several months."

"It's not the same. They were more of a casual combatant. A bunch of faceless drones and whatnot. Not one of them stood out in any way. I'm sort of hoping this professor woman is the one."

"The one what?"

"You know. My archenemy. She uses fish to fight her battles and she's some sort of witch. Some sort of fish witch, I suppose. I wonder what she'll want her name to be?"

"Aren't you jumping the gun? You've no idea if she'll even be an arch. For all you know, she could be sitting sadly in her laboratory and regretting her actions."

"I don't think so. Any woman who'd use fish for evil is... well... evil."

"Please don't get your hopes up, Land Captain."

Land Captain sat up straight, put his key in the ignition, and said, "Land Captain doesn't need to get his hopes up. He knows which way the wind is blowing!"

Ishmael was silent, and then attempted to sigh, "That doesn't even make sense. Where shall we head, Land Captain?"

"I suppose we should head to the lab, maybe."

"We could check the phone book to see if Professor Koleyna is listed anywhere."

Land Captain tapped his hands on the steering wheel. "We could also Google her. See what university she went to and talk to her professors. We could see where she's coming from."

Land Captain and Ishmael sat in silence. Ishmael knew that Land Captain was more of a fighter than a thinker, and was not very good at things like this. He turned himself off, and waited.

1 comment:

Jen Von said...

Land Captain, I hate to say it, but you're going into the Perter Parker School of Investigation if you google the professor. Come on man, I thought you were a top tier superhero, not someone who googles their nemesis.